Development of the 'alien self'

In early childhood, the failure to find a representation in the primary caretaker mind will fail the mirroring process of a child to the primary care taker. The child will not be able to internalize his or her feeling, and thus unable to generate the agentive self. In other words, the child will develop an alien experience within the self, meaning that the ideas and feelings that created do not seem to the self (Fonagy, 1995).

This means that the infant cannot find herself in the mother's mind, instead, she finds the mother's mind or the mother has colonise the self.

Individuals who have developed an alien self usually do not have enough capacity for mentalization; the capacity to think about the mental states of someone else in terms of beliefs, feelings and desires. Studies shave shown that those care takers who have strong mentalization capacity likely to have secured children attached to them. Interestingly, research have shown that mothers of girls sexually abused by male abusers appear to have lower capacity to think of their child in mental state other others due to their past traumatic experiences. Thus, they are not able to have a coherent, integrated and meaningful reflection on parenting their children.